My cousin was dating a girl for about two years. They were in an "official" relationship because it was on Facebook. However, after one and a half years my cousin decided he no longer wanted to have it published on the site, so he kept his relationship status as blank. Of course, this made his girlfriend threatened so she responded by having a picture of the two of them as her default. Clearly, this was a warning sign. My friend Melissa best described it saying, "That's like taking your wedding ring off when you go out to a bar!" If my cousin no longer wanted to share his relationship status with the world, he no longer wanted to be in that relationship, right? He must have been looking for something else, or wanted someone else to find him. Six months later, they were done. In the olden days (aka the '90s), my cousin probably would have broken up with his girlfriend after the one and a half-year mark. In respect to relationships, Facebook seems to create this extra sense of responsibility to advertise what you "really" want to those you don't really know, and to hide what you actually want from those that you are closest to. For example, if you breakup with someone and you decide that you want to publish your "single" status on Facebook, there's a good chance you're saying, "I'm free and want to make out with you!" to those you don't know too well and are trying to hide the fact: "I have this up because I want you to be as miserable as I am. All I really want is you." to the person you just broke up with.
There are also times where people limit their profiles to others so as to prevent them from seeing what they're doing. Sometimes these are for professional reasons, other times it's to considerately hide from someone how much of a d-bag you really are. For instance, say you haven't really broken up with someone yet but have already found yourself in a relationship with another person. What do you do? If you're a d-bag: Put your first relationship-person on a limited profile so they can't see, of course! Don't be honest with them, that's too difficult and will probably result in confrontation. This dishonesty and "creeping around" isn't a new problem in relationships. In the olden days that I referred to before, a girl's friends might see her boyfriend out for a milkshake at the Max with another girl. The friends would tell the girl, and she would ask her boyfriend if it was true. Depending on how much of a d-bag he was, he would either tell her the truth, or make her distrust her friends. Fortunately ladies, our friendships are not in jeopardy anymore because there will always be pictures and wall posts to prove it.
The aforementioned pictures and wall posts need to carefully be handled when you're in a relationship. Although they can symbolize how close you are with someone nowadays, they can also be extremely offensive to others and be the street equivalent of fucking on the subway. It's unnecessary to write "I love you baby" everyday, or even once a month. Nor do you need to post pictures of you and your significant other making out. In fact, it shows how insecure you are, like when you're constantly holding hands in public so that everyone knows s/he's your property and trespassing is prohibited. I guess when there are so many people your significant other can be connected to, you may feel the need to rape their wall to mark your territory. But, like rape, guerilla wall posts are nonconsensual and may end up ruining your relationship.
So, like it has for most things, Facebook has created advantages and disadvantages in relationships. Now, you have access to tangible evidence that your spouse may be cheating. But on the flip side, relationships may be becoming more superficial. Your significant other may be sending you a hidden message when s/he "prefers" not to have your relationship published. Or, when you can no longer see their birthday and everyone else can, s/he is probably hiding other "basic info" from you. Perhaps this means a longer life span of the "official" relationship, but a shorter life span of the "honest" part of the relationship. Perhaps this means an increase in insecurity on one's part because your significant other is connected to hundreds of sluts who would give it up in an instant. Whatever the case, Facebook relationships have made it more important now than ever to read between the lines. The times have changed, but the advice hasn't: be careful.
